Greater love has no man

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Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

John 15:13

LOVE – One word, many dimensions

‘I love my husband’, ‘I love my wife’, ‘I love my dog’, ‘I love my house’ and ‘I love God’.

So what is the definition of love? How can a person have the same tender passionate affection for their spouse, pet, property and God? There surely is a difference in the meaning of the word ‘love’ in each of the statements above. The English language has only one way of expressing affection, love there is and so although people might mean different things by the statements above, they do not have any other word to express the kind of love they are actually referring to.

Valentine’s Day Love Celebration

Today I wore a pretty red dress to church, after all it is valentine’s day. This particular shade of red makes me feel good and loved. I feel free, light, and confident in God’s love. I know that is all that I ever need in life. I do not have to depend on others including my husband to tell me they love me for me to feel loved. I am loved unconditionally by God. I can count on that anytime without fail.

Few days to valentine’s day, the 14th of February every year, flowers, chocolates and teddys are displayed in the shops. Most people go the extra mile on valentine’s day to express their love. I remember as a nurse, I did not want to work on valentines’ day. This was because while people are sent flowers, teddy’s and assorted chocolates from their spouses and fiancés, I received nothing. I was tempted to feel less loved by my husband as he did not send me anything to celebrate our love.

He might not even remember it was valentine’s day and if he did he knew I was not a fan of flowers or chocolates and might decide not to send them but he did nothing different or so special on that day. He expresses his love everyday in many different ways and does not wait till valentines’ day to do that, however it was just the way most people go the extra mile to celebrate their love so it is difficult to ignore all the attention others receive. The word LOVE means different things to different people and definitely different things to Christians and Non-Christians.

Definition of Love

Love is as an intense feeling of deep affection for someone or something (Cambridge dictionary). The song that came to mind as I wrote this definition of love was ‘what’s love got to do with it’ by Tina Turner. I decided to google it and get the lyrics as all I have heard from that song is the line ‘what’s love got to do with it’. Check out the video below for the lyrics of the song.

The song says love is a physical reaction which is only logical and nothing more than that. Tina also said love is a second-hand emotion. Do you agree with this definition? What is your definition of love? Let me know in the comments.

Types of love

Definition of love from the Cambridge dictionary and lyrics of Tina Turner’s song shows that there are different levels or types of love. Love is not just an emotions, electrical impulses, or palpitations. The English language uses the word love to express different affections to different things. Someone can say ‘I love my dog’, ‘I love my car’, ‘I love my wife’ or ‘I love God’, but mean different things. The Greek however recognises that there are different levels of love and uses four different words to define it. These are

• Storge (family love)
• Eros (romantic love)
• Philia (brotherly love)
• Agape (God’s divine love)

Storge (Family love)

Storge (pronounced storjay) is the love that exist in families, the natural bond between parents and children, siblings or husband and wife and anyone close enough to be considered family. The church is a family and members share this type of love. Jesus calls us his brothers and sisters because of storge love.

Philia (brotherly love)

This type of love is similar to the storge love. It occurs between friends or family members. It is mostly the type used for the church family. The term ‘brethren’ is usually used when addressing the body of Christ because they consider themselves as one sharing the same values. Jesus himself calls us his brothers and sisters, so calling each other brethren or brother and sister is a good way of letting people have a sense of belonging in the church family.

Eros (romantic love)

Eros is a passionate and sexual love usually demonstrated by physical affection such as kissing, hugging or holding hands. It is a strong desire or admiration for somebody. Eros love is caused by hormones and so not a reliable way of assessing somebody’s love for you. Most relationships starts on this level and when the fire caused by the hormones switches off the love also goes off with it.

Marriages build on eros alone do not survive changes in circumstances especially changes in the physical body which might have been the main point of attraction. Infidelity occurs in many relationships because one partner changes either as a result of pregnancy, birth, illness, weight gain or aging.

Sometimes situations can negatively affect love and change it to hate. Couples who could not get their hands off each other on their wedding day can drag each other to court for divorce or file a child restraint order against them just to hurt them because of emotions.

Eros love can never hold a marriage together. Having a pre-nuptial agreement is an indication that eros love fails. A person might say he or she has ‘fallen out of love’ as a way to get off the hook and avoid working it out. Eros love can not survive without agape love. Love that comes from God is deeper, it endures all things and suffers long.

Agape (God’s divine) Love

Agape or God’s divine love is the highest form of love. It is unconditional, selfless and sacrificial. It thinks not of its own but others. In a world full of ‘me, I and myself’ attitude, Agape love is very rare. It is so rare that if you find someone displaying it you might think there are some strings attached. No one can display this kind of love except they have a personal relationship with God and have experienced God’s love themselves.

Once you experience the depth of God’s divine love for you, you will testify that it is indeed the greatest of all the types of love. It does not matter whether you are not loved by people you expected to love you, you can look to God who is love and he will pour out himself into you because he loves you too much. He is our father and a very good good father.

God is love and Agape love originates from God.. He is not just loving or the source of love, he is love itself. Love is his nature and everyone with the spirit of God (born-again) can truly love. This true love, the Agape love is a perfect love and there is lot of Agape love in the house of God. You can not find this love in the community centers, pubs, clubs, dating sites, workplaces, or schools.

God loves us unconditionally and sacrificed himself for us so that we will not perish but have eternal life. God expects his children to re-present him to the world through love. Demonstrating agape love is the only way the world can distinguish between the children of God and the children of the devil.

Definition of love in the bible

1 Corinthians 13 quoted below gives the biblical definition of love. When all else fails, true love, the agape love remains. May the Holy Spirit of God help us all to understand God’s divine love for us so we can re-present God to others in the way we love them.

Verse 1-3

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Verses 4-7

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Verse 8-10

Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

Verses 11-12

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

Verse 11

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Below is an activity that I found very helpful and would like you to practice (thanks to Prophetess Gabriella Nyasulu). Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-11 again.

Place your name everywhere you see the word ‘love’ in 1 Corinthians 13:1-11. See which line does not reflect you currently because you are struggling with it, for example ‘love suffers long’ and you know you really do not possess this character. Pray this week for God to help you with this and come with ways to practice this character. Remember not to condemn yourself, we are not perfect but the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness to become more like Jesus daily.

Finally,

The next time someone says to you ‘I Love You’, find out what type of love it is. Only agape love is unconditional, selfless and sacrificial. We are all sinners, but God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God did not wait for us to repent before sending Christ to die for us. He loved and forgave us while we were still sinners. So we do not have to wait for those who offend us to repent or apologise before loving them. Anyone who says he or she loves God but hates his or her brother is a liar according to the bible.